As I took my last final of the semester today, the reality of the coming end fully dawned on me. I'm a senior with one final semester left. College is quickly drawing to a close. Suddenly, the real world is next year--not down the road. Graduation is in view, not merely on the horizon, and time will not being standing still anytime soon. There are people I may have seen for the last time, because of graduation, study abroad, etc. "I'll see you next year" is no longer a sure thing. I get that I'm not alone in this, but the finality of the situation is sobering. In a sense, I've never come to terms with the disaster that was my senior year of high school. For that reason, growing up seems like a prison sentence rather than some measure of liberation. Cool, I get to pay bills, be alone, and struggle to get by! Maybe that's a tad cynical, but I didn't get rewarded with free tuition from Pitt like some people, and my parents aren't wealthy and able to fund never ending educational endeavors. Keeping that in mind, this semester feels like my last chance to do pretty much everything. Factoring in decisions over the past two years I've definitely missed some opportunities and been way too stubborn at times. However, to all those that read this--which I know is about 2 people--fear not I'm ready to give things a shot.
Given that I have roughly 4 months to be as flexible and open-minded as possible, time is extremely precious. I recognize this, so I want to maximize what I'm able to do and try. With that framework, now I have something to ask of all of you. Challenge me. If I've ever told you I dislike something, ask me if I've tried it. And if I haven't get me to try it, and if I have get me to try it again. Don't let me criticize things without a retort, and force me to admit I judge things irrationally. If you invite me to something, and I give you a crappy excuse call me out on it. Unless I have class, or a prior commitment, then I have free time. Refuse to let me make excuses, demand accountability from me. Push me to be more responsible, to move outside my comfort zone, and not hold things back. Make suggestions to me, invite me to things you don't think I'd enjoy, and if I question it remind me of what I've said. I know it isn't easy, I know that I'm going to struggle too. But, I don't want to stand there on May 1 and think about all the things I never tried and missed out on in the name of pride. Besides, I know God has it in his hands--so I'm not afraid to fall before I fly.